Editor’s Note -
Update: 9/2/25 11:44 P.M.
Rereading this now, I see how it comes across as cruel. My intention has always been to lay bare my personal truth — the irony of being me. The aggression, the frustration, it’s all directed at myself.
I use social media for a break. I want to see babies laughing and cats flying through tech-beat space, I want to see my daily Coop on the Stoop update — not my worst fear reflected back at me. It’s unhelpful to stumble across a thirty-something woman being fatalistic about her love life. Because then I spiral: maybe it won’t get better for me. Maybe I won’t ever meet someone who loves me. Maybe everyone else will leave. And how can I live with that?
Mind you, it’ll be Tuesday morning and I have to be at work in twenty minutes. Day-to-day is already hard enough. I want to be happy for my friends. I don’t want to absorb this chaotic way of being and then it spills all over everyone else. I also don’t want to read thousands of comments of lonely people stating that they don’t think they are worthy of love.
I believe I am worthy. I am training myself every day to believe this as fact.
What I cannot handle and will not feed into is self-hatred. When I wrote this, I was so so so frustrated and angry. How dare these women absorb my feed with Tik Tok after Tik Tok of them falling into despair? I realize now that triggered me so bad because that’s exactly how I feel. And someone was holding up a mirror and I didn’t like what I saw.
I wanted to post this again because I believe in the truth. I believe in accepting how I feel; negative and positive. I also realize this is the second time I’ve written a post like this and rewrote and added. I’m not perfect, unfortunately. But I am a human being. That’s all, my friends <3
Update 11/24 12:30 A.M
I was basically guilt-tripped into deleting this. I’m reposting it finally.
If I see one more woman sobbing because she is single, I am going to lose the little patience I have left.
Every day during my mindless scroll time, I come across a woman in her mid-to-late 20s hysterical that she doesn’t have a boyfriend. And then there are women in the comments stoking the flames of her misery.
It always begins with: I am no one’s priority. Who am I going to share moments of my life with?
I find this behavior and this language deplorable.
You have family. Friends. Yourself.
you’re not unworthy just because you’re single
I’ve accepted that I will never experience romantic love. What are we talking about right now?
You decided that because you choose not to actively date, you are completely unworthy and unlovable. Right. I can’t accept that. I can’t accept that there isn’t a lid for every pot. I can’t accept the idea that some stranger on the internet isn’t deserving of love.
I want to grab all of these lonely women by the shoulders and shake them. I want to tell them they are depressed and should seek medical help. I want to tell them that if they truly loved themselves, they wouldn’t be boohooing on the internet.
the cult of being chosen
You preach community and sisterhood, but none of you actually want it. You want your knight to come save you from the misery of being you. You don’t want to improve yourself. You don’t want to accomplish your goals. You don’t want to be a person. You want to belong to someone. You want someone to think for you and make moves for you. You want to take care of someone.
And that’s all fine and dandy—if some women would just admit it.
A lot of you do, in fact, need to get a man and go inside the house. And that’s FINE!
But I’m in enemy territory - get me with the adults, please!
romance your friends
To sit and whine about being single and “having no one” is the biggest fuck you to the people in your life. You have family and friends who would love to hear from you.
Besides physical intimacy, there is not a single thing you do with a boyfriend that you can’t do with a friend. You can romance your friends. Once we accept this as fact, a lot of people would realize a partner doesn’t make them special. You didn’t unlock some cheat code. You’re not a better person or a “real adult.” You’re just partnered.
The people in my life are not people who date. They’re just individuals who happen to have boyfriends. Someone shows interest, they decide they want a boyfriend, and that’s that. They don’t try new people out, they don’t explore, they don’t get to know themselves in the process. It’s a subconscious way of avoiding risk and rejection. Why would you want to be someone that lacks courage?
They just fall into these long-term situations that drag them farther from themselves. And when it fails, suddenly they need a friend again.
get a grip
I’m so sick and tired of those that refuse to let go and make everyone else suffer for it in the process. I do not subscribe to the scarcity mindset of the masses. People come and go, but I’m with me until the day I die.
I understand the duality of man, but a lot of women need to get a fucking grip. You can love someone—you should even crave it. But the primary recipient should be yourself.