Why Women Hate the Carolyn Bessette Look So Much
Women get criticism and the men get JFK JR. look-a-like competitions!
I should start a new series called “look at our women dawg we’re never making it out the patriarchy.”
In this series, I’ll give my opinion on random Internet topics involving women, because why not.
This week, it’s about Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, an American love story, and why the women of the Internet seem to hate it so much.
For the past month, women on TikTok and Twitter have been moaning and groaning about the influx of 20-somethings dressing like Carolyn Bessette. It’s your basic minimalist style from the 1990s — think Dakota Johnson or Zoë Kravitz today.
It’s a quick and easy style to mimic: a white tee, blue jeans that hang just right, and a simple gold chain. Or no jewelry at all, because that was the CBK way.
And to be clear — this style isn’t new. The Internet is acting like it appeared last week. I’ve had it pinned on my Pinterest boards for years.
So why is this suddenly such an issue for the women of the Internet?
Honestly — who cares?
Oh no. A million women want to have a uniform. The horror.
The real issue is this: we’re living in the golden age of “I’m not like other girls.”
You think by standing with the men and pointing and laughing at women, you’ve somehow transcended womanhood. Your interests are so niche, so refined, so intellectual that it disgusts you to see such basic bitches parading around the Internet.
I’ve seen dozens of videos of women telling the CBK look-alikes to “get a hobby” or “make some friends.” Your issue isn’t with women. It’s with the companies that are successfully marketing viral products to us all. Everything becomes a must-have item for the next It Girl, I’ll agree. But it’s not the fault of a bunch of 24-year-old influencers in New York City.
It’s Rhode, Fenty, Hollister, Victoria’s Secret, Madewell, Abercrombie, and now even Walmart’s fault. It’s the marketing department’s fault. It’s TikTok and the algorithm’s fault. It’s trendy to assimilate.
But here’s the thing with fashion.
Dressing well is a hobby.
Fashion has always been a shared language among women. Trends move through friend groups, magazines, Pinterest dashboards, and now TikTok feeds. Women copy each other constantly — and that’s not a failure of individuality. That’s literally how culture works.
The real irony is that the women complaining about “everyone dressing the same” are also dressed the same. They just picked a different uniform.
Because whether you’re wearing the Carolyn Bessette uniform, the thrift-store-maximalist uniform, or the “I’m cooler than this trend” uniform — you’re still participating in the same system.
I hope one day women collectively surpass this inner need to constantly view each other as competition. No one cares if you wear 100% cotton or only dress like Carrie Bradshaw. You’re still being a bitch. The system maintains itself because women actively participate in it. We choose to drag each other online because, oh god, the men are watching!
I can’t have Tom, Dick, or Harry thinking I’m a stupid bitch ruining the environment because my plain white T-shirt or tulle skirt is made from plastics!
While women participate in this online warfare, they’re simultaneously taking to the streets to cheer on JFK Jr. look-alike competitions. Why? I don’t know. I guess it’s only sweet and cute when men do it. There are women in comment sections actively praising men for their newfound sense of style. The men aren’t basic, corny, or lacking an individualized sense of self. They’re unique!
I’m also so curious about this phenomenon. Women can criticize and bully each other, but you can’t acknowledge it. Because women are perpetual victims with no agency. Or whatever.
Then women can poke, prod, and coddle men like they’re toddlers. And then when I bring up that some women are just obsessed with men and the male form, I’m the asshole.
Sigh. We’re never escaping the patriarchy.
And that’s really what this entire discourse is about.
Not Carolyn Bessette. Not white T-shirts. Not whether a pair of Levi’s makes you a basic bitch.
It’s about the strange cultural ritual where women perform individuality by humiliating other women. Every trend cycle now comes with a secondary trend: the women loudly announcing that they’re above the trend.
But the truth is much less glamorous.
Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy wasn’t a style icon because she was “unique.” She was a style icon because she understood something most people don’t: clothes become powerful when they’re simple enough for other people to copy.
That’s literally how fashion works.
One woman wears a white tee and jeans.
Then ten women do.
Then a million women do.
And suddenly the Internet decides it’s a moral failing.
My point, if it wasn’t already obvious, is that women constantly view each other as competition. As a result, we criticize and bully each other. Meanwhile, heterosexual women love men so much that they praise the exact behavior they ridicule other women for.
And then we wonder why men don’t take us seriously.
It’s because we don’t even take each other seriously.